Depending on your life experiences, dating can be fun or frustrating. If you are young and only starting to date, the horizons might seem limitless and colorful. The scene might be different for you who have had to endure disappointment and heartbreak time after time. Being a Christian does not make dating any easier, but there are certain principles that provide guidelines for dating. Do not let the world deceive you into believing that there is no purpose for dating.
God designed marriage as a precious part of human life. This by no means implies that marriage is a duty, but that there is an innate need for companionship and intimacy in all human beings. The idea that dating is not Christian is clearly not a biblical one, because God expects people to find their life- long companions when on earth. And the only way to find your life partner is through dating. Christian dating is however different from worldly dating because Christian couples are expected to adhere to certain principles. We reached out to Sam Moorcroft of our favorite Christian dating website to get his insight on the top 5 Christian dating principles.
Christian Dating Principles
1. Date a Believer
For Christians, dating a believer is not optional. God commands it in His word, in the book of second Corinthians 6:14- 15. In case you are wondering why is so important to only date people with whom you share the same faith, it is because you will need someone to help you through the tough times. The Christian journey is not an easy one and you need someone to hold your hand when times get hard. Dating a non- Christian only makes it harder for you to stick to your faith.
Secondly, dating a Christian means that the two of you share the same values. This minimizes friction in any relationship. It in fact is likely to glue the two of you closer together, which is the ultimate desire of two people in a relationship.
2. Have Marriage as an End Goal
The end goal of Christian dating is marriage, and you should have this in mind throughout your dating period. Casual dating is not for Christians. Christians date in the search of a life- long partner, and not for the sake of it. Remember, serious dating as that expected of Christians can create bonds that far surpass ordinary friendship bonds, and breaking those bonds can be rather painful. Even if you will not be as affected by the end of a relationship because you were not in it for marriage, have your partner in mind. Do not cause them unnecessary emotional turmoil just because you were not ready for marriage.
4. Keep Your Mind Pure
Purity is one of the core principles that every Christian couple should uphold. The basic rule is that sex should be reserved for marriage. Sure, you might have to wage a constant battle against a raging sex drive, but your patience and sacrifice will pay off in the long run. You will enter the doors of marriage with a pure conscience, and nothing an ever substitute for that.
It is often said that the easiest way to overcome your adversities is to ignore them. This might work in certain scenarios, but it might not be effective in fighting sexual temptation. The best way would be to flee temptation, as the Bible instructs in the book of James. Flee from the devil…and he will run away from you.
5. Give Yourself Time
Another trap that many people, Christians included, fall into fast is that of getting married too soon. Sure, the end goal of every relationship should be marriage, but no one said that you have to get married two months after meeting someone. Give yourself time to really get to know this person. Give yourself time to get over the infatuation that reigns at the beginning of relationships. Time will unveil the flaws and imperfections that infatuations makes you blind to, and you will be able to determine whether or not you are compatible with your partner. Do not rush into anything, because marriage vows are not meant to be broken at will.
6. Be Humble
Do not start dating with an arrogant mind. You may feel as though you know all there is to know about dating, mostly because feelings can be deceiving, but the truth of the matter is that the practical aspects of dating are far different from the theoretical aspects of dating. Listen to the advice of the Christian community around you, especially that of older Christians. They have walked the path, and will give you practical guidelines that can be immeasurably helpful to you.
The principles discussed above might not shield you from heartbreak or disappointment, but they provide a framework that will hopefully guide you through the murky waters of dating. God envisioned companionship and intimacy for humanity, and He will guide you through your search for a life- partner in His wisdom. Do not give up yet- follow these guidelines, and those set out in the Bible and your dating will be more fruitful.